Here is my reckoning of the ground floor lay out of the House Across The Road.
Tuesday, 23 August 2011
Friday, 12 August 2011
Sue, the most confusing thing about sue is the car she chooses to drive. And the most offensive thing about Sue is the fact that I can see her car from my bedroom window. I’m not confused or offended because it is mechanically ludicrous, nor because it is garishly vulgar, rather because it is inexcusable ugly. Her life is a bigger mystery to me then Mick’s his hobbies are clear… the leggings are a clear give away… Sue on the other hand leaves for work in her smart suit at 8.20 on the dot, day-in, day-out… and right now its 5.05 and she has just returned home…
The house itself is a big and double fronted, easily the biggest on the street. Its blue front door and blue guttering frame it well and the rich Ivy working its way across the front from left to right appropriately finishes this honestly quite attractive home. On the east side there is a tin staircase leading up to a exterior door on the second floor… presumably this leads to a flat which has been made of the upstairs… however, that presumption is difficult to maintain… Firstly, I have never in 18 months of amateur stalking seen the same person enter through this door… rather sometimes it is a young family, other times different young professionals without a pram in sight. More recently, it has been Mick himself tirelessly ascending and descending the tin steps so frequently he cannot possibly be achieving anything on the inside. And secondly, if that is a flat I am at a loss to see where those who live downstairs sleep.
Right now though, a man in overalls is leaving… he’s put the key in the lock and walked away, around the back of the house…. He left with a tool box and with a yellow wire hanging from one of the windows… here we have an opportunity for hot off the press speculation… I’m going to suggest he’s fitted a halogen light – but who knows for why!
Wednesday, 10 August 2011
I've decided that rather then bore you with musings on my own life I thought I’d inform you of my uninformed opinions about the house across the road…
By way of disclaimer, it is worth saying that everything I write here is inferred through my own observations, I have never spoken to the people in question, nor have they any idea who I am… And although I hope to be accurate in some of my thoughts and suggestions…to all intents and purposes everything I write is fabrication!
I became aware of the house across the road when Roy came to cut down the front hedge… Roy is my landlords, drain fixing, hedge cutting, four sugars in his tea drinking, jack of all trades, handyman...a character himself but not the focus of this blog. The hedge was a huge, overgrown monstrosity of a thing, indistinguishly brown and green it blocked any natural light from flooding our naturally dingy living room. Its removal was a pleasant surprise alone, however, there was a deliciously delightful and unexpected side-effect… revealed to across this broken Sheffield street was “the house across the road!”
An entity of itself… the house and its inhabitance, its existence and happenings have since been the conversation of our living room more far more frequently then is healthy, and as certain conclusions have been reached, now it is time to share them with the world.
So who are the players? Today, I will talk about Mick. Mick (the name which I've given him), is an elderly, retired gentleman. Often seen moving from upstairs window to upstairs window making sure they are securely shut, then donning his cycling shorts (or occasionally leggings) he goes for… a walk. He is the head of the household, steadfast and true… but nothing without the lady always by his side….Sue (but we can talk about her another day).
At this very moment its raining… and they’ve left their Velux roof window open.
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